Now, when a good idea comes I cannot act on it because I am not currently working or because I am currently working. I must find a place where I can work and act at the same time. How can I find a place where I can act and feel assured it is what I can practice and fail at if indeed I was wrong.
The freedom to take chances is what I seek, so I give myself to the want and worry of chance, the lotto. What has become a obsession is now a religion and is born of my repeated and unending process to obtain the correct numbers to free me of this fake financial prison everyone had been set in.
Before I was married I could have done all of this without worry but because they all want me to have children and property I am now afraid to strike out on my own. But this is a ruse for all I want is a simple job that gives me simple happiness. So finding one is not easy and finding the numbers to set me free will be equally not easy. For twenty years I have worked in an industry which I should have be now been free of...but I am not.
So equally I will work for twenty years to find the correct numbers of the lotto to set me free. The task is set before me. I equally can perform it...I was close once and it was a ruse. But a good one. I had not listened to the predictions of chance rules and quantum theory but I myself just used a simple way to predict numbers. Random drops of water. This produced a set of numbers I tried again and again. But always I would get too many drips or not enough drips. When looking upon the drips in hind sight. I could determine with some poetic license that I was close to the numbers. Of course I was not...for being close to exact is like being far from the center.
Being close and being exact are not the same thing. In my studies of sports I determined many run the race but one wins. So many are close but few are chosen. This happens in the world because the many give up on looking or seeking the answers. Simple as that...persistence will give results.
No matter what the endeavor it will give results. Giving up will also give results. The result of never having been tried. In my own industry I was told many times...you are not qualified.
Only to be told, "Guess what they want you anyway."
The future is not set...for if I was predestined to win the lotto then it will happen whether I play actively or not. Somehow it will come to me...without effort in my mind toward the matter. Much like a golfer plays everyday and one day he hits a hole in one! The reward of the golfer is to keep playing and tell others of his feat. That reward is not good enough for me. To repeat the hole in one would give this man a skill everyone would be interested in.
I was not wanting a skill but an hole in one without playing the game. Not possible. So predestination is full of it. There is not a set future...this gives me excitement just writing these words of proof.
No one could argue that you could win at golf if you never played the game. You must at least swing the club, at least once to see if it is possible. This illumination is 'felling' trees of religion in my mind. And I can win the lotto simply by playing it with some skill or not any skill at all. The random chance is always the random chance.
I have talked to many people about the possibility of winning the lotto only to be scoffed at. Then I ask of the possibility of being apart, or at least a witness to a miracle they stop scoffing. Many people believe in miracles but none believe in the lotto.
I call it Meracles the Miracle maker. People love the god Meracles. Change a 'eye' 2 a 'E' and you get M-eye-racles! Great fun. Eye 2 an E.
There is no real logic to this condition set upon mankind, because the lotto is a real thing that people really win and does happen over and over and sometimes to the same people. But that is not a miracle and the god Meracles does not endorse, so it cannot happen.
The psychology of this god is very mesmerizing -- And has me at hell-0 or Amazing Meracles!
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