I was listening to two young girls argue, One was named Lexi and the other was named Grace. The one named Lexi just gave up and let Grace wins most arguments. The one named Grace always won. Then one time I heard the girl named Grace, give up and not argue. I asked her why? She said,
"It did not matter to win anymore. I like being around her more. We were just having fun."
A million Celsius or Fahrenheit who cares?
A million arguments whether they are political or religious or between a man and woman or between a father and a son are the same. There is something that happened and there is a weird reaction to that something. That something talks. It says,
" I win if----blah, blah, blah." It's just a lot of hot air!
This happens the same everyday for millions of years. Whether people agree or disagree they never do it because of the facts of the situation just the perceived slights or complaints of offenses.
If we could get every man to become rich or at least make money just by not striking back. This would encourage people to try offending each other in some weird tacit agreement-- so they could make their mortgage payments. Why? Why not? We would then see a Renaissance of the world. Well at least in our homes.
We could get back on track with the economy. The economy of losing arguments gracefully. What? Yeah, what indeed. I try to do this everyday and most days fail at it.
"This not winning strategy, is not for me!"
I try everyday to encourage people to think-- new. Not just differently-- but new. So when I encourage people to do so-- and they think new. I always get a weird reaction that causes offense, unknowingly? Every time I try and same result-- offense. I get tired doing it and I am probably confusing the reader, right now? But I am not telling tales out of school.
Like tales about chocolate and good sad little boys.
"Good day sir! I said, good day!"
This reminds me of a little boy who said, "Mister Wonka here's your everlasting gobstopper." The boy setting the strange looking candy on the table next to the deranged lunatic chocolate maker.
So now we enter the world that I stated previously, the world of having an argument and losing gracefully. This is the essence of all religious and political debate. The yells and the whispers between two people, whether they are man or woman must be--I win. Grace is what we need to extend in order to 'survive' to get to the next argument. Grace. Not the right answer-- but Grace.
So this is where most people will say,
"No way." Including the writer of this blog. "No way! No way-- goodness gracious. No way!"
There is a character in 'Goodfellas', a man named 'Johnny Two Times.' He says,
"I am going to get the papers, get the papers." He states what he is about to do twice. Like an idiot.
This is funny because we don't want to be like Johnny Two Times.
We never want to say things twice."Don't make me say that again! " We tell our kids and our co-workers.
Math does not agree. If we get the correct answer, no reason to write it or say it twice?
In math there is an argument, then there is a solution and whoever arrives at the solution-- wins. This competition for the correct answer-- is all we seek. We believe if we get all the right answers and make all the right moves we will win-- the game! So we try with all our hearts to do this. So now you know where depression originates. Getting the right answer every time and still no one cares. Most especially your opponent. Opponents don't really care-- they just want to win at all costs.
No grace--extended. Even if you say it-- twice.
"Break the chain, break the chains!"
This is what is most important. Wars start because of depression. One person or nation is depressed and starts to press on another to get the solution. We do this in all our ways including getting jobs and also making new wine. We press something to get-- relief. Or a result. What happens next is what historians call history. The story of him-- who won. The wine maker. The one who won gets to pour the new wine. Or tell the story of us. This is the dialog between every man and woman. And every business to business transaction and every government to government treaty.
We press-- until someone relents or until someone dies. Or at least says "Uncle---Sam."
Now the intellectuals out there would say, I just made a great argument for Democratic Fascism. I forgot about 'reasoned' debate. The problem is reasoned debate only happens between people who are not stake holders. Francis Bacon taught us that! Whether you like the elite man of the 16th century or the 20th century painter. Stake holders usually win arguments. (Chapter Liberal burger Bacon--please)
That's why so many people have answers for others but not themselves. They can see the other person really and with out any color in their eyes. They can peer at a peer and see them fully. But we stake holders love to win and argue. It becomes-- very political and messy and usually ends in divorce or worse---Wars!
"One million--one million Celsius or Fahrenheit?" Hey I wrote it twice.
"You only live-- twice, Mister Bond." said the evil mastermind. You have to live twice to defeat evil. Say it again, like you did the first time. Extend Grace. Or at least be her. Grace that is.
Which do you enjoy or like and want or which is hotter? There is an answer to any question but who cares. It's all hot. Like a hot potato and everyone I know drops it like a rock! When real issues or discussions happen we don't want to get involved unless we can win or defeat someone.
No one says this,
"---give me your rock. I know it's hot. 1 million degrees hot and I want it anyway."
This will cool any argument and return-- peace. The only problem. Which one do you want to be the peace maker who hands are burning or the victor who won??? This is what we all struggle with winning some and losing some. We learn more from losing but no one wants to admit it.
- We all did not lose a job but gained a better one.
- We all did not get divorce but found a new love.
- We all did not fix the past just said--the future it's not so hot. It's cool, again.
That's is the matter. I don't need to extend grace--my hands are already washed clean. Let the martyr burn! Math is not the answer here. Being right means becoming an a-hole. And then get a depressed loser on our hands then a war and finally divorced from the argument--completely. Whether it's just personal or just the mindless business of faith. Do not-- believe?
"Get the papers. Get the papers."
So how hot is 1 million degrees of anything? Who cares? I just want to be happy. Let the hot hand win. I'll pick the colder more peaceful loser-- every time then smile gracefully.
Like Mister Wonka said,
"What happened to the boy that got everything he ever wanted? He lived happily ever after."
After losing-- gracefully by just stating, after clearing one's proud throat,
"My name--my name is Grace."